Bird-loving Jokester T-Shirts

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Well, that backfired."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

A couple of birds out on the town.

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

Blackbirds.

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

Squawk dirty to me...

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

Artist Hazards

'Why can't I ever lead?'

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"