Bird Expert T-Shirts

'I Egret that I will have to decline.'

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

'Doesn't anyone else find this even remotely disgusting?'

Wild Bird Sanctuary

'I know there are worms around here somewhere...I just can't put my finger on it. Probably because I don't have one.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Canada Goose Jackets

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Spring Training

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."