Bird Battle Victim Gifts

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

So you're a mocking bird...

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"Why am I irate? A: You turn my eggs into omelets each morning. B: Not once have you offered me even a nibble."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Eh, who cares if climate change is killing birds? I'll just make more."

Man on mobile phone has a bird sitting on the antenae.

'They want full access to the feeders or they're going to show us their own version of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds.''

"That may be, but if you-know-who loses his protected status we're all out on our butts."

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

Phlox

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

'Next time, can we get a dog or cat?'

Goose Flowchart

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

Helicopter attacked by birds.

'Oh, for Pete's sake! Will you tell Milligan that it's HIS turn to clean the bird doo off of the telescope lens?!'

"Look out, here come the vultures."

"I did have a parrot once, but I grew sick of its never ending gabbing!"

No Hawkers...

'We need a bell to warn little birdies.'

Superhero duck.

"I ain't got it!!"

"Well, that's a first."

'Why do you keep his head covered?' (Ugly bird).

"So, how many brands of birds do they make?"

"I'm terrified of birds."