Bird Banter Enthusiast Gifts

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"He does have a dark side but it's mostly his back and thighs."

Squawk dirty to me...

Blackbirds.

'Awk! Look - someone with a bigger beak than mine. . . awk!'

'I washed his mouth out with soap, and I think he swallowed some.'

'I'm allergic to birds'

"Once we'd established who was the 'pretty boy' it was a small step discovering who was the 'daddy'."

"I ask you - Wolly and Doodle! What sort of names are they?"

Polly txt speak

So you're a mocking bird...

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"Who's a pretty boy?"

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

'Stop me if you've heard this one before.'

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

A real turkey lunch.

"Wow, the gossip is that these guys are not mere birdwatchers, they're professional ornithologists here to study us! What an honour!"

"M'lud, my client has no choice but to plead guilty to the charge of jaywalking as he is,in fact a jay."

The late bird orders a take away.

"I did have a parrot once, but I grew sick of its never ending gabbing!"

'Isn't he clever?! Junior's learned to speak by repeating what I'm repeating...'

Medical Bird.

"Sorry, but I've decided to start doing my own material."

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

'Polly wants a cracker!' 'Maybe we should switch to low-carb crackers?!'

Songs of the Summer.

'Aw! Look - someone with a bigger beak than mine...'