Bird Banter Enthusiast Gifts

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"He does have a dark side but it's mostly his back and thighs."

Squawk dirty to me...

Blackbirds.

"You pooped all over their car. You gotta expect some payback."

'Awk! Look - someone with a bigger beak than mine. . . awk!'

'I washed his mouth out with soap, and I think he swallowed some.'

'I'm allergic to birds'

"Once we'd established who was the 'pretty boy' it was a small step discovering who was the 'daddy'."

"I ask you - Wolly and Doodle! What sort of names are they?"

Polly txt speak

So you're a mocking bird...

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Psst...e=mc?.'

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"Who's a pretty boy?"

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

'Stop me if you've heard this one before.'

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"Wow, the gossip is that these guys are not mere birdwatchers, they're professional ornithologists here to study us! What an honour!"

The late bird orders a take away.

"Yep, it's irritable fowl syndrome alright."

"M'lud, my client has no choice but to plead guilty to the charge of jaywalking as he is,in fact a jay."

A real turkey lunch.

Medical Bird.

"Sorry, but I've decided to start doing my own material."

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

"I did have a parrot once, but I grew sick of its never ending gabbing!"

Real Angry Birds.

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.