Biomechanics Buff T-Shirts

Muscles

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

A day at the transgenic races

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

Fitness Course.

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

Physics toy.

Newton discovers surrealism

"Steroids."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

'Any improvement?' - 'Yes, my arms are getting longer.'

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."