Binary Banter Lover Gifts

How are we supposed to tweet in 140 characters when all we can use are zeroes and ones!?

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"No, this is 111110100111101111 ... you want 111110100111101101."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"Gnork invented the wheel, Shnorz invented the hand axe, and my genius paints lines and circles. . . what do you want to do with it? Maybe building something where you can look at cat pictures? Hahaha!"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Cold caller.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

The Gilmore Girls

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Data, data everywhere!'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

'Here comes Ted.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.