Bin There, Done That Warriors Pillows

"It's a remarkable find...evidence of human habitation that dates to ancient history!"

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

"I only wish emails could deliver papercuts."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

'You should apply for government relief. Your room is a disaster area!'

Just Married

"Stu's not a morning person."

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

'Did they say WHY you could no longer be a Spartan?' 'Something about, 'image'.'

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

"If the ref wasn't on their side, how come he was wearing their kit?"

Snare in the inbox.

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

Rugger.

'Relax, the game is over.'

"I see a couple of chairs over there by the naked guy working on his laptop."

"One day past humpday, one to go until slumpday."

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

Unsurprisingly, it was auto-correct that introduced evil into the world.

Genghis Khan

Nerds have always had trouble picking up women.