Billing Critique Appreciator T-Shirts

"The doctor encourages second opinions, but not about his fees."

Final words on gravestones.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

Alms Bank

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"I just love your use of lying"

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"How about we forget 'new and improved' and settle for 'new'?"

What happened next to CEO Fred Musgrave is simply too ghastly to depict here.

'Gee, I wish I'd said that.'

I.R.S: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.'

"I'm sure you'll soon fit in, me a vulture and you a capitalist."

This must be the top management floor.

'I'm a GP how difficult can it be?'

Patience.

if we suspect a terrorist attack we're to invade the applethwaites at no 57

'Don't tell anyone that we're heating the entire building with pink slips.'

Complaints Department

"Technically, it's not your time yet, but we were sick of your complaining."

"We can strike the clause that allows us to take your firstborn male child if you miss a payment. It's really just in there because people expect it to be."

"Life Without Parole"

"I should say, he is a little sensitive to criticism!"

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

FEMA: 'You think he even knows it's empty?'

'My tests are very difficult. Not one of them has ever made a refrigerator door.'

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!

"This company is 100 percent nondiscriminatory. We'll take money from anyone."