Bill Whisperer Gifts

'And if you can't find a government job, there's always the ever expanding cell phone bill deciphering market!'

"Get yourself a drink and relax, dear, while I fetch your slippers and the phone bill."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'What do you mean...You feel uncomfortable asking for time off?'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

Bulltoon: Certifiabull

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"I admire your patience, Fred, but c'mon!"

'Well, look who has stock in Genomes-R-Us.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

Judge getting hair done.

A new opera-glass for the year 1777

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'I can't believe she left everything to that stupid parakeet!'

'Don't keep complimenting them on their work, or before you know it they'll be asking for a rise.'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

These remarks are completely off the record

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

'It's my job to be nosy!'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Office full of computers and wires.

"My hunch is heads will roll."

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

I think you should know he's in a table-thumping mood.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"