Bilingual Soul Gifts

"Now here's a sign of the times."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Cat Tie

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

Frizzbee statue.

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'Honestly, Geraldine, you're not like any other penguin I've ever met.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'My girl friend wants me to put my inner child back inside where he belongs.'

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Bunny Pranks

Shoe repair

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

Face painting - children have no faces

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Angus McKinnon Young

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

Snowballs!

Chère Maman

"He pretends to throw the stick. I pretend to chase it . Is that normal?"

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

"Dude, you shot my out with that stupid thing! Now my depth perception is going to be off!"

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

Pets: Three Puppies try to charm man through pet shop window.

Attack of the dreaded 'Pantsing' sharks.

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'