Biking Perfectionist T-Shirts

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Writer

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

Nice park. . .

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Paving over the window-box

Santa's Out Tray.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Excess Baggage: Many couples pack for trips in totally different ways.