Pit Stop Perfectionist T-Shirts

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

Nice park. . .

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Football Crazy.

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Santa's Out Tray.

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

"Page 33, line 4..."

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

Ryan Giggs

Pitching Tryouts. Never mind the fastball. They grade on a curve here.

'You're just making it harder on yourself, Dirkwood! You're being relieved! Step off the mound! ... He's not budging...'