Big House Aficionado T-Shirts

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

Grounded

The Day Dreamer.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'Do you remember when we agreed to keep trying until we got a boy? Well, I've been thinking...'

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

'For sale'

"Growth spurt?"

A rabbit sits at an office desk, the edges of which are lined with numerous framed pictures of his many offspring.

'There you are Mr. Hill, as promised, a view of the Thames.'

Demanding house.

Servant's Request

'I want her spayed!'

"These older homes are tricky. You never know what kind of pipes you'll find."

"And to my nephew Scott, bold denier of climate change, I bequeath my north shore bungalow."

"Before you sit down, let me give you the grand tour."

'No, this is not the dream Cape Cod, 3BR, 2 1/2 BTH, 21 FT LR. This is the charming Dutch colonial, 2BTH, 4BR, L6 Deck, 6AR.'

"I tell you, it's way easier to put up bookshelves."

'This one looks unusual.' 'Yes, a toilet with an outside house.'

'I can't believe it — you rented a foreign film?'

People in a nest: 'What housing shortage?'

"Dad, I know you're proud of me...and I'm happy you support my soccer team...but did you have to invite all five generations of the Bermudez family?"

'Sorry I'm late - my shoe lace snapped!'

Rialto: a brief respite between the summer deluge of bottom-feeder crap and the winter deluge of upscale crap