Bidder T-Shirts

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

"Sold to the man with the itchy ear."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

E-Baying @ The Moon

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"It's called 'Sold'."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"I got it from eBay."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

The Battle of the Pictures.

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Titanic iceberg auction

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Enough EBAY already!'

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'It sold for how much!'

"It's a sad day when we have to sell off National Treasures."

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.