Bidder At Heart T-Shirts

Auctioneer of the Year: Edward Hammerhands.

E-Baying @ The Moon

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'Enough EBAY already!'

Karen was delighted that both her large and small suppliers had turned up for her industry day

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

"Well, they were the low bidders."

Salesman given 10 minutes under extreme pressure to sell to buyer

'It may be industrial strength Crazy Glue©, but substituting it for welds isn't the way to be low bidder.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"Of course you don't need to tell me about your procurement plans for the year ahead. That would spoil the surprise and give us time to deliver value for money and who needs that?!"

Think Small.

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"Do I have a cough, a harumph, a wink, a tic? Sold then to the smirk for a million-five."

Public Procurement Portal

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

Arabian Buyer

'Sitting on the dock of eBay, wasting time...'

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

Auctioneer upside down so he can read bid number

Rodin's Late Arriver

This is the twenty-first century, silly --- Log onto eBay and make a bid!

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

Man bids at Internet auction site