Bicycle Fixer Mugs

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

Drool Marks

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

You had me at vintage.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

"Wait! Do you think the quick release bolts are a good idea?"

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

Deux Ex Mechanic

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

Kwiki-Fix Garage. With add-on charges, the sum is much greater than the parts.

Wheelies Gang.

The Mechanic

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Man with deflated sex doll at air pump.

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

Man tinkers his bike.

"There's a slight crack in your frame, but it's hard to tell what caused it – stress, proximity to water, or a combination of both."