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'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Sistine Selfie

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Eden. Hi, I'm version 2.0.

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Joseph and his coat

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

"He changed water into wine!"

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

The Exobus

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

Self raising Lazarus.

Jesus makes water cooler water into wine.

"The good news is everyone's on board. The bad news is the unicorns are gay."