Bible Study Member Pillows

"He's coming out halo first!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"You call this a constitution?"

TSA Noah

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"I've got writer's block."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"What did Jesus order?"

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Caption Contest TK

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.