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"He's coming out halo first!"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"I've got writer's block."

TSA Noah

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Caption Contest TK

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"