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John the Bathtist

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

TSA Noah

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

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"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Bible Bloopers

The First Printed Bible

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"