Bible Study Champ Pillows

'Whoa! - Adam and Eve are WAY out of compliance!'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Examinations.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I think I gained weight because of the heavy reading Mr. Klacken assigns us."

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

Horseshoes...Samson-style