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Lice Moses

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

Ten Commandments

Noah's ark, many lions

'He's got your nose.'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

The First Printed Bible

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Meet the Author

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

Rocket Ark

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."