Bi Professional Pillows

'I don't know, I just thought my data dashboard could use some fuzzy dice.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"