Beverage Specialist Pillows

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Scotch and water musick."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What'll ya have?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Don't feel bad. The rest of us can't hold our liquor either."

Golfballs 19th drinking hole

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

Vampire drinking 'Blood Light'

"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

Scientific Tea.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

Maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing, but I think bottled pond scum water really does taste better.