Betting Shop Employee Pillows

Risk assessment offered to punters.

Bookmaker: Tote Bag.

Little league world series of poker.

A day at the races

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'Once again, I fold.'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Destination casinos...

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Tonto Casino.

Nostradamus.

Post Game Day Betting.

'I'll give five bucks to anyone showing me a fish more than ten inches long.'

A day at the races

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'