Benches Gifts

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Beach con-man.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Holiday time.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Thank-you God.'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Hiding the electronics.

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Surf Casting

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion