Benched Techie Gifts

'Like everything else I blame my ignorance of technology on the fact that I played baseball in the days before batting helmets.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"You are still here."

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Modern camping

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

"A watched file never loads..."

Snake with headphones.

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

One-man band - One-man office

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

Computer Jobs

'The meeting ended 20 minutes ago, but we're still trying to untangle our electronics.'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

This Amount of Computer Code

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'Of course working in a 'Virtual Firm' does have it's drawbacks...'

'I think I've found what's causing a funny sound in your hard drive.'

'Ignore the purple stain - that's just my Blackberry going off.'

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

Wi-Fi password?

"You want art, words, or a QR code?"

Smartphone and Smart Arse Phone.

"I see balloons, food and drinks. Not only are there ants in our keyboard, they seem to be having a party."

In case of computer breakdown break glass

Social Media Traps

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

"I'm having all unwanted emails go to an Uncle Spam folder."