Bench Buddy Seeker Mugs

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Could you wear this? You're scaring away the fish.'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

'Now cut that out!'

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

Little boys

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Travellers

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

'It was a gift.'

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"Don't attack surfers! You're giving us all a bad name and encouraging culling!"

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Did you spill my pint?'

'No, no that's not what I mean by trim the motor!'

"I tell the truth, and sometimes it's funny."