Believer In The Invisible Pillows

"Son, God is invisible...That's how we know we are made in His Image."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Damn, I'm out of earshot!'

Anywhere but here

Welcome: Skeptics Society

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

Dustbin monster.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

"Word has it Earthlings have been using some of our people for cruel scientific experiments."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

Alien Spaceship Crashes - On Halloween. House owner think he is trick or treating.

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

"You wanna put that back?"

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

Stop whining - you know he called shotgun first.

'Let's throw them off the trail -- Let's land in Roswell, GEORGIA!'

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'Fish and bread? That's it? Seriously?'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'