Belief System Detective Pillows

'We learned in school today that you learn something new every day, but I don't believe it!'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'Okay - who leaked?'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Confirmation Bias

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

Sigmund Freud.

"He's mad at God."

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'Well, Tom, everyone suffers from delusions from time to time.'

'...But in case God misses something...'

"The irony is that I don't believe in hell."

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

"Before we eat, who would like to bow their head and proclaim they no longer believe in saying Grace?"

"What a coincidence. We're religious 'nones', too."

'Do you believe in reincarnation?'

"How can you be an atheist? There he is, right there!"

"If atheism is good enough for dogs, it's good enough for you."