Belch Enthusiast Gifts

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"That's a misconception. The key to salvation is, and always has been, daily flossing."

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

"Why, this broth we made is magnificent!"

'Reinventing myself.'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

My youthful jacket blurb writing showed such excitement, he thought with a sigh.

Bar bouncer resumes.

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

"Did you forget to gargle dear? Your breath is atocious."

'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'

A young man replying cheekily to an older gentleman

"He killed in rehab."

"She looks sooo good."

Belching plant

Warning: adopt players as role models at your own risk...

Sawmill workers league

Meet the Bookjacket Blurb Author

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

What're the old folks doing? Sadie's putting Uncle Mort on a regimen. They're always trying to put us on regimens. The last one told me Five times a day, and no more. So I cut her loose. If a man wants to floss ten times a day, it's what he's gotta do. Only one organized protest a day? Lady, you're cramping my style. You've hit your quota for back-talking.

'Someone should fix that,'

'...Brad says he stuck a dime up his nose when he was 3 and he's betting us $50 that it's still in there.'

Man! Talk about poker faces.

Ask me a question! I need practice. With what? Across the country, partisan radio hosts have gotten so angry lately. I haven't kept up. I need practice being mean. I'm being outclassed. C'mon people! Sadie needs you. Ask for … her advice. Prepare to get mercilessly ridiculed! Sounds like a blast.