Being Saved T-Shirts

Illustration for 'Foul Play', scene 1.

North Pole

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Insect extinction

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Investing your savings

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Roasting the Moneybox

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

Saving for College.

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Of course I'm squirreling away money!'

"It failed the stress test."

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

Lifesaver!

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"