Being Lazy Pillows

"I wish my father was alive to see how lazy I could really be."

'He gets all his exercise watching the sports channel.'

'What does he do for a living? Well, he breathes!'

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

Homo Zapiens

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

Fetch the Boomerang

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"I'm catching up on my inertia."

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Eventual Motion Machine

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

The Sedentary Dead.

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

The Stay Put Marshmallow man

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

'NEW Down hill exercise bike'

"I thought it was time to throw out the pizza boxes. What's amazing is it's just from the weekend."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

"If I ever get my own business, I'm going to practice the Golden Rule."