Behavior Training Pillows

'Now, now terror, it's for your own good.'

'The vet will see, you know!'

Walkaholics Anonymous

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

Santa Claus's Mail

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Overjumpers

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

Agility God

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

Dog Park / Cat Park

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

"I hate it when we fight."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"