Beginning Technical Training Pillows

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

All the apps hidden within a phone

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Battery Lighthouse

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Fixing the TV.

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'