Beginning Technical Training Pillows

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

Robot Jogger

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

All the apps hidden within a phone

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Fixing the TV.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'