Basic Training Pillows

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Agility God

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"A little help, please."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Obedience School/Disobedience School.