Beginner Luck Pillows

Overjumpers

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'And right here they merged...'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

The Best Laid Plans

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

'Do you have clothes for winning the lottery?'

Tombola Winner

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"...did your last employer give you a reference?"

Good Luck

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

I've never seen anyone so confident about a race!

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

'A white cat! That's good luck.' 'It doesn't work that way.'

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Bob Smith: Asking For It

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

'By the way, that's your lottery ticket.'

Gipsy Rose: Sorry Closed, Back in 6 Months, Won the Lottery Again.

'Hey, I'm having a pretty good streak here--how about you guys?'

Karate club.

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

"How'd you know I was from New York?"

"Why is it that every time we get invited to a pot luck, they expect us to bring deviled eggs?"