Beer Buddy Pillows

'C'mon guy. You know I can't serve miners.'

Death: I don't have to worry about work/life balance.

'To enablers!'

'Boozer's Week.'

"I finally feel I can accept the things I'm too lazy to change."

Charles Darwin and God on a chess board - science and religion

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

His and Hers In Case of Emergency

'I have this gut feeling that I should have another beer.'

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'I am such a loser!' 'You're overreacting. Lots of people have never won the lottery.'

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

Cause and Effect.

"It's just that when I took you for dinner and a few beers I didn't realise you were still on the clock!"

'Football concussion - one beer too many at the game,and I fell off my seat.'

'You know, you really shouldn't bring him in here.' 'I know, but I hate to drink alone.'

'It's your liver calling. Do you want to knock it off up there?!'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Let's drink to air conditioning.'

A Taco Tuesday Tragedy

'Come on - You mean Ahab thought Moby was the only great white whale?'

'Sorry, I forgot to tell you, the cricket has been cancelled.'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'It's an old football injury.'

"A quick pint, Mavis, I'm running on empty!"

'It's a common misconception. Sometime we actually get quite hot.'

"You say I picked you up in a bar last night..I must have been really BOMBED!!"

'Nine out of ten doctors think excessive drinking is bad for your health.'

'Two beers, please -- and lose the chaser.'

I ordered a Pink Squirrel. I took that as a cry for help. Beer is what I use to help people.

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

'Well, this is goodbye, Joe -- my wife is making me get direct deposit.'

Ratted!

Ring! That's the bar phone. Are you here? Oh, I forgot: you're always here.

"You can come in mate - but don't start buying anything."