Beef Appreciator T-Shirts

'It's difficult for us to keep staff. We keep losing them to the fast food industry.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

A Venus cow trap.

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Laboratory Retriever

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Eat Beef

Say cheese!

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"His tests show he has a latex allergy."

David Attenborough

Rabbits picknick

'She's still trying to decide if she likes you or not.'

"Get ready."

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

Pizza-Fed Beef

"Too much to drink, a tattoo parlor, a dare and..."

Musical Dog

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Man painting a cow

'Aaaah... nuthin' like sitting out here in nature with a good campfire and a couple of ice-cold Bloodweisers.'

'Coffee, tea, or banana?'

It's true what they say: Life at the top can be lonely...

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'

Cattle Crossing: Choice and Prime.

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

Nature is not perfect

"I reckon we've never met, but maybe you recognize my brother from last year's cattle drive!"