Bedtime Snacker Pillows

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'

Bedside Manna.

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

The downside of the cupcake bed.

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Lady has a coffee break.

'You were up four times last night.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

Diet Enforcer

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

"Relax! The poor thing is only taking a breather on his way south!"

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock