Bedtime Comfort Seeker T-Shirts

'It does not mean she likes you better; you're just warmer.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"I guess families do come in all shapes and sizes."

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'It's okay, Mom. I won't need an extra blanket tonight.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

Sleeping masks

Please take them off

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

Man using light to shield his eyes.

How Sheep Sleep

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

Bedtime Reading

Exercise for the end of the day...

American Flag

Bed time stories

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

Ok, I apologize for calling the hot tub a dumb idea.

'The way you bundle me up, the only thing going outside is my nose.'

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"You know that's a waste of time, just chuck it on the fire to keep us warm."

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

Death warmed up.

"I like fall because everything goes back to the new normal."

'Memo to the wife...'

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.