Bedroom Warmth Innovator Pillows

'I warmed up your side.'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"It's a novel about interest rates."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Television company new recruit

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

Paper Bath Towels.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

It's a beautiful day. Take your computer and invent the next crippling internet virus outside.

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

"When I first met Howard, he had a touch of class. As it turns out, it was just a touch."

Bird building a nest under a bird box rather than in it

"I love technology. I just programmed this smart tree to drop its leaves in the neighbor's yard."

Mum! I'm cold! - 'Put your jumper on then!' - 'I'm already wearing it!' - '' - 'Mum! I can't reach the thermostat!' - 'Oh, that's a shame, dear.' -

"We need one with three zones."

'I miss my water bed.'

"After the kids moved out I had the house redesigned to reflect the real me."

"Nana" Technology

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

Og invents the port-a-potty.

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."