Bedroom Consultant Pillows

"Do you have anything a little firmer?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Duvet nailed to the floor.

Tedious Romantic.

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Categories are the key to organizing.

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"

Football addict

Wine Lovers

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

"If Harold had learned anything over 50 years of marriage, it was the importance of keeping things interesting in the bedroom."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

Water bed.

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

How Snakes Sleep.

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'