Bedhead Challenger Pillows

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Winter is not a season, it's an occupation. Sinclair Lewis, boy, Sinclair Lewis."

Do not think outside the box!

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

'Confusionism'

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'...Well, this is it Lana...the place where I was born and raised!'

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

'All the rice you can eat... with one chopstick.'

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

A bald man is chasing his toupee with a butterfly net

"Naturally curly hair."

'That dog's so greedy - it's only an hour since the last salesman called!'

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

"You have some serious bed head, Dear."

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

'The end is near.'

"Excuse me, but where exactly are we being led?"

'Well I see we both got our ugly sleep.'

"I've been racking my brain for hours and I still can't get today's Sudoku."

Bridget Malcolm

'Non confromists society annual dinner' "You can't come in mate...Its formal dress"

'I think you'll find that's checkmate for you too, Sir.'

He used to do his own thing. Now they expect him to do someone else's thing.

"I am my own penguin"