Bedding Buff Pillows

"I only told him I needed bedding."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Now here's a place I like!'

Baking

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Gerald Ratner's return

SupermarketAwful Market.

Appointments and Disappointments

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Our New Slogan: Make Money.

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

Vincent Van Goth.

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

The Bargain Brand

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"P.J. is right. 'Rock solid financial product' does sound better than 'contrived get rich quick scheme.'"

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

'It's not really rsutling, it's rebranding."

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"