Bed Shopping Aficionado T-Shirts

'This is great, we'll take it.'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

When laundry ruled the waves.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

"Hey Google, describe the view."

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"Dang it."

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

'What's the night life-like?

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

"Do they make my feet look big?"

"Sheets and pillowcases, Franz, we're selling sheets and pillowcases!. . ."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'What terrible pre-Christmas gift catalogue have you got hold of now?'

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

The domino effect.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'

Four beds labelled modern, abstract, surreal and cartoon

'Mine!'

Kid in bed to mom: How come third graders don't get a personal day?

The Princess and the Pea

"Now that I work remotely, I keep forgetting to shave and get a haircut. At least today I remembered to get dressed."

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

"I drink to forget."

"Why can't duvets be square?"