Becoming A Foster Parent Pillows

'Be honest, Mum. I'm adopted, aren't I?'

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Foster failure"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Interior design trends for parents....

"Feel free to take notes."

'The child is very illogical'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.