Beauty Salon Professional Pillows

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"I'm saying we lash out for the 'Deluxe' collagen treatment, next time, honey."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"This time lick my entire body."

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

'You don't know how lucky you are having tentacles instead of arms. I spend a fortune in manicure.'

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Magazines.

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

Dying your hair red at home

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

Nail Gun Manicure

'Please bear with us until the power is restored, Mrs. Harris.'

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

"Pedicure is booming, but manicure is dead."

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

Gentlemen, don't think of this as a corporate takeover, it's a corporate makeover.

'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'

Hair stylist images his work as butterfly, customer sees caterpillar.

"Tan O'Clock Salon. Your key to maintaining a healthy afterglow in the afterlife."

Alien Computers.

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"