Beauty Norm Challenger T-Shirts

"Love that new pox!"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

The Mainstream

Do not think outside the box!

Missing my hair.

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

A man without a chicken on his head!

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Veni, Vidi, Vici, Mani, Pedi.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

Romee Strijd caricature

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"Of course I love your long hair Rapunzel. But maybe you could shave your legs just once in a while?"

"What? It's been ten years. . . She's had six kids for goodness sake. She can't still be the fairest of them all!"

"Naturally curly hair."

"Shall I be mother?"

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

The Dance Circa 1970