Beauty Investor T-Shirts

Breast Implant Profits

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Oh my gosh — so sorry! Those were extensions!"

"More concealer?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"One day, I'll have teeth like pearls...skin like silk...and a mind like a steel trap!"

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

A woman uses the reflection of a man's bald head to put on lipstick.

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

'You don't know how lucky you are having tentacles instead of arms. I spend a fortune in manicure.'